The First Hopefully-Annual “Oh Fuck” Challenge

 “Oh fuck.”

It’s a phrase well-known to Anarchists and anybody that’s relied on the invisible dice-rolls of the universe to get by. It the sound of getting pulled over by a cop, being grabbed at a demo, getting evicted, or even being sentenced to 5 years in prison.

Oh fuck happens to alot of people, but when it involves prison you can be sure it’s going to be bad. Unless of course you have a magical t-shirt with charms written on it…but who has such a thing?’

To be an Anarchist in prison is to face extreme difficulties: you may be secluded from other inmates to insure you don’t “radicalize” them, you may be treated roughly and beaten by guards, and often family members abandon you because “you shouldn’t have gotten mixed up in this politics business anyway.” To go into prison is to go into a tomb, to lose lives and friends and memories as if you never existed. The poor bastard coming out looks like an alien dropped onto another planet, and will often have only the barest of resources to “re-adjust” to a system based on exploitation.

Oh, did I mention the slave labor they endure? Imagine working outside for hours on end, the goal of affording a bag of Doritos the goal for your week.

For many people it will be the worst experience of their entire lives, and if they don’t kill themselves some will wish they had.

But they don’t have to go it alone.

The Anarchist Black Cross is an organization that has been around since 1907 whose stated goal is to help our comrades behind bars. The ABC will:

  • Make sure impoverished comrades have enough money for food.
  • Send books and magazines to comrades who may have nothing to read but the bible.
  • Speak with media organizations and organize events to highlight the struggles of unjustly imprisoned comrades.
  • Ensure they get proper footwear and summer/winter clothing.
  • Write letters and visit with prisoners. Considering you can be thrown in solitary for your political associations this may be the only human contact some prisoners have.

The Anarchist Black Cross is doing life-saving work, and doing it all on a shoestring budget. Folks inside cells and outside of them are co-coordinating, organizing, and making due with the kind of cash most of us could blow in a crazed weekend.

The last week in August is the International Week of Solidarity with Anarchist Prisoners. This year lets help prove “solidarity” isn’t merely a leftist version of “I’ll pray for you.” This year, and hopefully every year after that, you and I are going to help them.

What’s in it For Me?

Why help? What makes this campaign different from any other hack with an outstretched hand looking for money?

Well besides helping a fantastic organization I made a magical t-shirt to help keep you out of prison and this is the only way to get it.

Over many moons and after consulting with various spirits I designed a charm in the Taoist Fu-style that would draw energy from anyone that looked at it. The charm funnels the energy of perception to the bearer to increase their luck and provide them victory over their enemies. I’ve blessed it, prayed over it, and handed it to a graphic designer who donated his time to fuse it with a bad-ass Illegalist t-shirt.

The t-shirt also has a modified Anarchist Black Cross logo. On the left we have the glyph Chet to correspond with the Chariot in the major Arcana of the tarot. On the right there’s Ior to invoke Jörmungandr who will die while killing Thor, a nice little protection against white nationalists using heathen imagery and highlighting victory against the forces of “order.”

In the center is 7 spades/swords, a reminder to work like the soldier sneaking into the enemy camp and stealing their swords before the day of battle. It also is a potent reminder of fallen comrades, tears, bloodshed and war.

Underneath it is the 29th hexagram from the I Ching known as “K’an.” It represents the heart, the soul locked up within the body, the principle of light closed in the dark, and points to water passing through a ravine. Water sets the  example for the right conduct under such circumstances. It flows on and on, and merely fills up all the places through which it flows; it does not shrink from any dangerous spot nor from any plunge, and nothing can make it lose its own essential nature. It remains true to itself under all conditions, something that makes or breaks comrades behind bars.

It’s a potent design at 14 inches tall and 9 1/2 wide that sends occult victory to you and to those in capitalist prisons, a unique magical device unheard of anywhere else.

You can get it for $15 + $7 for shipping. 100% of the profits will be donated to the Anarchist Black Cross. 

The good folks at Stand Up and Fight Back, an Anarchist printer, have agreed to print these one-of-a-kind t-shirts in a limited run of 50 for no cost other than materials.

Once those 50 are gone they will not be made ever again. If you ever wanted a Dr. Bones t-shirt this is the only way to get it.

HOW CAN I GET THIS AMAZING THING?

  • Send an email to DrBonesConjure@gmail.com with the title “Oh Fuck Challenge”
  • Include what size you wear as well as your name and shipping address
  • I’ll send you an invoice for the cost of the shirt + shipping AS WELL as the ritual to empower the shirt and a prayer to say when you wear it.
  • Once we reach 50 orders I turn it into the printer, he churns them out, and I mail it to you once he gets it to me. Folks outside the US will be asked to pay extra for shipping.
  • A donation will be made with all the names of those involved to the Anarchist Black Cross.

First come, first serve, and once we hit 50 these shirts will not be printed again. I am a working person, as are my readers, so I know for many people electric bills and rent will take precedence over any luxury. If you can’t afford one consider at least sharing this article or asking other comrades to get one in your name.

Consider however given the current political climate there is a damn good chance you’ll be needing the help of the Anarchist Black Cross eventually. Ensuring the ABC is a strong organization capable of helping a large amount of comrades tilts the odds in your favor that, should the worst happen, you and your family can count on you being taken care of. This isn’t just about helping others but helping yourself, and if you’re part of the working poor like me it’s an insurance policy in a world that promises nothing.

If you haven’t contributed to Anarchist causes all year a mere $22 will ensure Anarchist prisoners get food, have human contact, and know that they have not been forgotten beyond the barbed wire. If not now, when? If not for comrades trapped in literal slave camps who else are you going to help this year?

It’s time for the Weird Left to take a stand and show we haven’t forgotten what solidarity really means. Till every prison is broken and every cage is smashed, none are free until they are free!

Yours in Insurrection,

Dr. Bones

About Dr. Bones

Dr. Bones is a conjurer, card-reader and egoist-communist who believes “true individuality can only flourish when the means of existence are shared by all.” A Florida native and Hoodoo practitioner, he summons pure vitriol, straight narrative, and sorcerous wisdom into a potent blend of poltergasmic politics and gonzo journalism. He lives with his loving wife, a herd of cats, and a house full of spirits. He can be reached at Facebook.com/theconjurehouse and drbonesconjure@gmail.com
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