Don’t Be Afraid of the Candidates, Be Afraid of the People Voting for Them

Source: Wikimedia Commons

Source: Wikimedia Commons

From my weekly column at Greed, “No Quarter.”

(GREED) – We are living in a horror movie, a grotesque carnival of human depravity and indifference towards suffering. Torture, blood, guts, everything seems slashed with macabre tones as I nervously sprinkle rue water on my front steps to keep away evil. This election is the most frightful one yet but it’s not the candidates that fill me with dread. It is the American people themselves that should scare us to death, not whichever puppet our masters can convince us trust.

I recall two nights before Halloween when a short Italian woman grabbed me by the arm, her fingers digging into my flesh like a pitbull’s teeth. “Say,” she whispered in fearful tones, “did you hear that people are going to dress as clowns on Halloween and…p-purge?”

“Purge,” I spat back, “like….like the movie?”

She shuddered. “Yeah. The ones that have been appearing all over the country. I heard some kids are going to do it in Satellite Beach.” I stood dumbfounded that an adult human being, with children mind you, could honestly believe a town notorious for old people and triangle kush would be the kick-off point for a nation-wide slaughter festival stolen from a movie.

I did the right thing of course and assured her she was mistaken: the killings would begin in Melbourne, much closer to her home, and steadily move towards the beach. I emphasized it would be foolish for children to chase victims westward where they could simply jump on the highway and disappear. The machete-wielding gangs had instead decided almost two weeks earlier to push the murdertrain towards the ocean, where scores of carnivorous three-year-olds would descend upon the captured as they desperately attempted to flee.

She was unsure if I was being serious or if I was kidding.

I remember being horrified that something like that was even in the realm of possibility for someone, the idea that legions of “good people” could overnight become murderous monsters with no respect for human life.

But the more I though about it, and the more I watched this election unfold, the more it seemed like the reality we’d been living in all along.

200+ years ago we fought and fucked our way across a continent we stole because somebody told us we deserved it. Once established on the bones and blood of anyone that got in our way we preceded to fight and fuck elsewhere, killing anyone we could find for 93% of our history because somebody told us we were “special.” Moment upon moment of our history the American people have waited dutifully like children to be told what to do, how to think, and what excuses they might use later down the line to justify their crimes. We are capable of anything, no matter how revolting, except perhaps for self-reflection.

Americans can watch beer commercials with scantily clad women and never question why they suddenly feel thirsty, stare blankly at the tv and never ponder why the show Undercover Boss seemingly appeared out of nowhere right in the middle of the Great Recession. They dance and nod their heads to lyrics they never really hear, wear logos of companies without asking for a dime in payment, and honest to god believe their vote really matters.

But don’t point out the idiocy of American mannerisms, like voting for people that have been statistically shown not to listen to them while taking advice from “journalists” with links to Psychological Operations. No no, such clear sight is the greatest crime in the Land of the Blind.

Just ask disgusting Bernie turncoat turned-Hillary shill Former Secretary of Labor Robert Reich:

“If I were not being prudent with my words, I’d say anybody who has the public’s ear, who is undermining our democratic system, is acting in a traitorous fashion. I will mind my words, so I will not use the word traitorous.”

Amid hard evidence that this entire election is a big parade to convince the cattle they get to pick the slaughterhouse, you have people so valiantly clinging to the illusion they’ll accuse people of TREASON for daring to rock the boat. One wonders what “punishment” Mr. Reich might call for those who he finds guilty of such a heinous crime as telling the truth.

Guillotine? Death by fire ants? Will this punishment extend to adults that inform children that Santa Claus isn’t real as well?

Reich never elaborates, and repeated emails asking what punishment he deserves for serving under the president that created the largest expansion in slave labor via the prison system the nation has ever seen have gone unanswered.

Of course it’s not hard to imagine what kind of answer he might dribble out considering he had a ready made one for folks that weren’t so comfortable with endless war and hedge-fund profits.  In October he said:

“Voting for someone who doesn’t meet your ideals when the alternative is someone who falls much further from those ideals doesn’t mean you’ve sold out or compromised your principles. You’re just being realistic and practical.”

Realistic. Like rooting for a candidate that threatens war with Russia, supported ISIS and it’s allies, ran guns from Libya to Syria, and might even privatize social security.

Practical, like learning to be okay with “enhanced interrogation.”

A newly released CIA inspector general report about the death of detainee Gul Rahman concluded that he was singled out for especially harsh torture because of “pressure” to “break him.” We learned that he was kept nude or in a diaper for most of his detention, “solely for humiliation.” When they ran out of diapers, the guards would use “a handcrafted diaper secured by duct tape.”  CIA torturers kept Rahman naked in “cold conditions with minimal food or sleep” and kept questioning him even when he “appeared incoherent.” When they decided he wasn’t sufficiently “broken,” CIA personnel brutalized, starved, and froze him to death — and then lied about it.

If being “realistic” and “practical” can excuse any behavior why don’t we just get honest with ourselves and admit we never gave a shit about human life in the first place? We don’t care if America dives head first into World War 3, can’t be bothered about drone strikes blowing apart innocent children, and won’t shed a single tear for 200 refugees from an American dirty war drowning in the Mediterranean.

What will will the American people cry about? The fact they got to vote for a female president. The fact that they were able to hand over the Imperium’s nuclear armory and archipelago of CIA torture prisons to someone that happened to have the same gender they do. They will line up around the block for that shit.

What a time to be alive. You can’t make this shit up.

You want to be scared? To be worried? Forget Trump, forget Hillary, these “practical people” actually think they’re doing something for the “greater good,” just like when they were killing Native Americans and bombing the shit out of Cambodia; these “realistic” people are more likely to believe that Wikileaks works for Russia than the idea that maybe America isn’t all about “truth” and “freedom” or whatever else it said on that goddamn t-shirt they bought at the flea market.

The American people will go forward, even after the election, pissing and shitting right where they eat provided somebody else told them it was the right thing to do. They will support murder, rape, and torture as long as it comes wrapped in a yellow ribbon and enough progressive buzz words to calm their anxiety in between episodes of My Little Pony.

They will smile, oblivious to every bloodsplatter they approved and the machete in their own hand, fearful of clowns bringing home a reality “good kids” enlisting for college money brought to the Middle East on a daily basis.

It’s not the candidates we should be afraid of. Oh no. Fear instead the horde that birthed them and the monsters lurking in our own mirrors. No amount of death and lies will turn us from our festival, our collective purge of responsibility in exchange for comfort and entertainment. We will torture you and violate your flesh, remove your skin and share in your blood, and no amount of facts or emails will keep us from our fun.

This is the American way. Always has been.

Always will be.

Gonzo journalism at no cost is my gift to you. Want to help keep me from starving to death or buy me a beer? Do me a favor and make a donation of any size and I’ll promise not to haunt you when I die.

About Dr. Bones

Dr. Bones is a Hoodoo-slingin’ Florida native and Egoist-Communist spitting pure vitriol and sorcerous wisdom at a world gone mad. He lives with his loving wife, a herd of cats, and a house full of spirits. He can be reached at, @ole_bonsey on Twitter, and emailed at
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One Response to Don’t Be Afraid of the Candidates, Be Afraid of the People Voting for Them

  1. Jigme Odsel says:

    The Purge was a metaphor for neoliberalism and how it dehumanizes and makes disposable human life. So it is no surprise that what remains of a conscience in many is now coughing up dark fantasies such as this. They know they are disposable, and are now afraid they will have to trade a slow death by diet and pollution to a fast death by Juggalo keepin’ it real. Does one laugh or cry at this? Why not both?


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