Legal Weed Will Not Make You Free Or Stop the Murder of Children (Gonzo & Conjure ’16)


“When you talk about voting, however, keep in mind that it’s no real trick to vote for ‘the best’ of a bad lot. You’ll get a little tired of that after you’ve voted a few times. I’ve tried it. & my feeling now is that the compromise/lesser-of-2-evils game doesn’t seem to be getting us anywhere…I believe the democratic process can work in America – but not as long as the Major Parties keep forcing us to choose between double negatives.” – Hunter S. Thompson

Halloween. 2am.

Orlando, Florida.

The streets are packed with wild eyed drunks, a living sea of people cursing and spitting, screaming and fighting. Leather-clad freaks stumble out of dance clubs and knock $16 drinks out of the hands of fraternity bros arguing what “consent” means. Every alleyway is soaked in piss and vomit, cops on horses knowing such a wild crowd could descend into a riot at any moment. They fantasize about cracking open black skulls as they ignore a woman being groped behind them.

Madness, chaos. A kaleidoscope of super heroes and mutants all possessed by varying strains of demons. Whiskey has made some angry, tequila some violent. Nobody is sure how many guns are in the crowd, and a couple of vikings laugh nervously as a man in a communist bandanna keeps rambling on about how much he’d love to shoot his 9mm in the air “just to see what would happen.”

He’s downed 3 mini-bottles of 99 Bananas, a shot of apple whiskey, 3 shots of rum, and an unknown quantity of Pabst Blue Ribbon tall boys in about 3 hours. Still, he’s a professional. He may be hammered but he isn’t wasted. He’s at least cognizant enough to notice the large amount of homeless people sleeping in doorways.

That’s what really confuses him, really makes him stop and think: the huge amount of people filling the streets in an orgy of drink right alongside a disheveled woman sleeping on a pizza box. These human beings were the “acceptable” victims of capitalism, the “losers” that couldn’t “deal” with the world. Merry party goers were getting high and dousing their shoes with vomit right alongside the people Florida had declared it illegal to feed. The freedom to revel in Dionysian pleasures had not lifted them up from the gutter.

It was almost as if fighting for legal weed didn’t fucking matter.

Oh sure, legal weed may have made such scenes easier, that is as long as people could afford it. With an hour or two of scraping maybe they could temporarily escape to a realm of higher thinking. Maybe even contact space aliens with their mind or have sex and do magic.

But they’d still be sleeping in the street and getting beat up by cops.

Just like none of the drunks puking and fucking all around me that night weren’t actually post-modern psychic Gandalfs just because they were shitfaced.

Social issues are the great gears of Capitalism’s engines, the pressure valve that can move just enough to ensure that the really important issues never get noticed.

Do you honestly believe that the people at the heart of the Imperium, the people building drone bases in Africa and gearing up for a titanic battle for world domination actually care if two dudes get married? If people can legally smoke weed? Less than a week away from the puppet show election  people are running around and barking that “you must vote” as loud as they can. This time around they’ve been using small scale social issues as a way to lure you to the polls. Right here in Florida legal weed is indeed on the ballot, as well as a very tricky solar amendment that would eliminate subsidies for solar owners.

And that’s fine. Vote on them. These things will impact the quality of life for many. Do your thing.

But the minute you stretch the comfort of getting high to picking one of the most corrupt, bloodthirsty presidential candidates we will ever have, that will most CERTAINLY kill massive amounts of people if not throw us into World War 3), you are indeed a fool and the whole reason we got into this mess.

It’s funny, really, as this election winds down to hear just how mindless the two sides have become. Republicans will ignore every disgusting aspect of Trump’s behaviors and beliefs because “we can’t afford Hillary” and wanna-be progressives will ignore large-scale corruption and illegal wars because we “can’t afford Trump.” They sometimes cite that Republicans will “drastically expand the military industrial complex and cut taxes for the wealthy.”

I like to remind them it was a Democrat who bailed out Wall-Street at taxpayer expense, that invaded Libya, and literally funds ISIS. Then of course there was that business where we were backing Nazis in Ukraine.

If this election has been anything it’s been remarkably clear just how badly everything doesn’t work. How much all of this IS a sham. You would literally have to admit to “half assedly following politics” to not know this.

Did you miss the part where almost every primary Hillary won had massive amounts of voter fraud?

How about the emails that show the Democrat primary was fixed from the beginning?

Hey, better yet, did you miss the part where Hillary literally picked her electoral foe 2 months before he announced his candidacy?

And before you open you pestilence-filled mouth and tell me this isn’t possible may I remind you Hillary actually advocated fixing the Palestinian elections to further American goals?

What part of any of that signals to you that we’re soon to have a free and fair election? Oooh, ole Bonsey has heard the arguments: “If Republicans don’t care about sexual assault, I don’t care about emails;” “You’re privileged if you don’t vote for Hillary;” or my personal favorite “This is all Putin’s doing.”

Let me assure you that every time someone makes these arguments you should take a mental note because these are the same kind of people that can rationalize throwing you in a goddamn prison camp.

The American public is so sick and diseased that they can literally have the rancid filth that they call “democracy” put right in their face and they still won’t believe it. I’ve actually seen COMMUNISTS hating on Wikileaks because they’re “anti-Hillary.” Let me repeat that: rather than comment on how horrible the actions of this wallstreet-funded warlord are they will scream at the messenger for daring to expose them.

Yeah. Sure kid. Whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night you worthless piece of flaming garbage. We know you didn’t actually read the emails. The gutless worms over at Huffington Post gave you a funny article that mentioned Hillary ordered a hotdog with no bun and you were sure that was it.

That’s where this country is intellectually. People that claim to be fighting for the poor are backing the candidate hedge-funds have doted on from the beginning.

I struggle to wrap my mind around what kind of people would see all of this and still try to get you to believe in a system that has been proven in university studies not to work. How so many stupid people could speak so loudly and have such a reach.

And that’s the really scary part isn’t it? Because not everyone is indeed as stupid as we believe.

Your average Republican is a simple beast and as such an easy enemy. He hates what he hates, believes what he believes, and often wears his political theories on t-shirts or flags. He’s like a predator with no camouflage. He knows I’m his enemy, that I want to destroy everything he believes in. It’s a natural, zesty, Nietzschean battle for who will live and who will die.

But your Democrats, your liberals, are by far a much more loathsome creature.

They pretend and they honestly believe what they pretend. So they can call themselves pro-women when voting in a pro-choice judge while simultaneously supporting the country that created ISIS, one of the most brutal forces ever to subjugate the women unfortunate enough to live under them. The United States has, from the beginning, been gifting weapons to and directly funding ISIS in the hopes they will topple Assad. The CIA knew Saudi Arabia was aiding ISIS and helped it along. Even our “democratic” ally Turkey has been caught not only arming and aiding ISIS but bombing Kurdish targets instead of ISIS held territory with NATO approval. You know the Kurds? The people that actually allow woman to vote?

No word yet if legal weed will put an end to ISIS but our top Disinfo journalists are getting as high as they possibly can in an attempt to signal our comrades on Venus for aid.

These same people like to call themselves anti-war, and even bellow that keeping Republicans out of the white house will ensure an era of peace while forgetting the widespread slaughter of Yugoslavia, the invasion of Libya, and the human butchershop we call Syria. Whoops! Almost left the Ukraine out of there! Say, what are those “rebels” in the Ukraine up to nowadays? Surely a Democrat held White House selected only the finest of humanity-majors and art students to lead the battle against Russia!

“In practice, Korchynsky wants the war in eastern Ukraine to be a religious war. In his view, you have to take advantage of the situation: Many people in Ukraine are dissatisfied with the new government, its broken institutions and endemic corruption. This can only be solved, he believes, by creating a national elite composed of people determined to wage a sort of Ukrainian jihad against the Russians.

‘We need to create something like a Christian Taliban,’ he told me. ‘The Ukrainian state has no chance in a war with Russia, but the Christian Taliban can succeed, just as the Taliban are driving the Americans out of Afghanistan.’”

The truth, as I’ve said before, is much more horrifying than simple stupidity. For large amounts of people as long as they can get high and be comfortable the United States government can do just about whatever the hell it wants. They can even steal elections right in front of them and rather than confront the idea that they might actually have to do something about the living fossils running the show(or maybe even reading some statistical data on the topic) they’ll actually defend that corruption. They’ll tell you like they do every year that change is just too risky, which means it’s actually too risky for them.

These people who scream at you to vote, who willingly deny all facts and data we have on the issue and instead launch into rambling, practically incoherent tirades about the importance of it all are actually quite afraid.

They are afraid of you.

Because each time the Hyena pack grows it not only means that their life of ideological comfort is being threatened but that the system itself isn’t working. That the massive structures of exploitation they’ve eked out a modicum of comfort in are slowly beginning to shake.

The communities that have been pandered to by the Democrats are now locking ranks to dispense of any ethics they may of had to ensure the “right” outcome is achieved. What’s truly macabre is how far this behavior stirred up during the election is influencing other realms of thought. Rhyd Wildermuth, a gay man currently visiting the State of Florida, noticed the same authoritarian behavior so common to the Right now on full display in communities traditionally associated with the Left:

“The idea I’ve got some kinship to others who love people of the same gender? It isn’t just imaginary. It’s an illusion that’s easily manipulated by the powerful. According to politicians, ideologues, advertisers, and the media, being gay is supposed to make me do stuff.

I’m supposed to furiously vote against one particular candidate in the American election and vote excitedly for another. It’s supposed to make me support foreign wars against Arabs and Muslims, elicit my support against both immigrants and conservatives, celebrate that the military will now accept me, and desire to buy certain things and hate certain others.

This pressure to conform to gayness, to an illusory community, doesn’t just come from the outside, but it gets repeated by other gays. Gays tell me I’m betraying gays by not voting, taking the side of people who want to kill me by not supporting the military, spitting in the face of all the gays who came before by not supporting marriage.

That identity built on shared suffering, one I once thought was liberating and included me in a vast community? It becomes a bludgeon that others use against me, to limit me, define me, and most of all control me.”

The people whose entire lives depend upon a group identity need you to believe in this entire charade because they depend upon it. The stinking packet of K2 they call “America” has granted them just enough solace to keep them alive and they need it so bad they’ll lie to your face to get it

And that’s what’s so despicable about it. That’s what really puts me over the edge. Nobody has the balls to go out and say that human life actually doesn’t matter, and that large decisions can be made without any input by them as long as they stay nice and warm and have enough cash to upgrade their cellphone next year; nobody has the guts to say that millions of corpses is a small price to pay for feeling secure, provided the bodies come from a country primarily filled with brown people; nobody will stand in front of you and admit they really don’t care about the bosses at the top stealing value created by the workers everyday as long as that hierarchical, exploitative position can be reached by a diverse group of controllers who have the right to marry who ever they want.

Because in the end they love their servitude. Those huge crowds of people still jittery from designer drugs and breaking into cold sweats in Orlando were no more revolutionary than Appalachian mountain-folk falling over themselves in a drunken mess. Even people in contact with the gods can still be nothing but shills for a pre-selected corporate puppet hellbent on making the planet kneel before some stupid flag.

(Wizard Pro-tip: Spirits lie and magical people can be just as dumb as anybody else. Crowley called a himself a libertine yet still supported an oppressive empire and rigid caste system. There are of course other examples throughout history.)

Pro-choice judges and recreational drugs are certainly great and I’m glad we have them around, but I have yet to hear how exactly they will stop funding to ISIS, stop Hillary’s desire for MORE fracking, stop her Wall Street buddies from strip mining the country, stop drones from killing children in the Middle East, and most alarmingly stop the death march towards war with Russia.

Still no word if the Senate budget committee will be able to get stoned enough to counter this.

If your politics are so limited that they can excuse any action by the United States, including stealing your ability to even have a say in the matter, as long as your pet project is taken care of…well, I suppose the rest of us then should start thinking about your existence in the same way.

Halloween is long over, those drunken throngs safe in warm beds and getting pissed that Netflix doesn’t have a wide enough selection while the homeless of Orlando are still illegal to feed. In the final days of a dying empire the eyes of the most-downtrodden have witnessed just how little their “countrymen” care. So when the time comes and sharpened knives slip between rib cages, when molotovs shatter windows and middle class folk are robbed at gun point, we shall see if they can convince the hungry that times were simply too dangerous to rock the boat.

Then again make we can convince them to smoke weed and speak with aliens on Jupiter while writing massive paragraphs asking people to check out our facebook pages and buy our books.

Whatever works.

“You are being fooled. It is said that the last Chamber, made up of imbeciles and swindlers, didn’t represent the majority of voters. This is false.

On the contrary, a Chamber made up of idiotic representatives and cheats represents you as voters perfectly. Don’t protest; a nation gets the representatives it deserves.

Why did you elect them?

You aren’t embarrassed, among yourselves, to admit that the more things change, the more they stay the same; that your elected officials mock you and think only of their own interests, glory or money.

So why would you elect them again tomorrow?” – Zo d’Axa

It has come to my attention that other Disinfo writers disagree with my opinions on this matter. Rather than waste our time why not schedule a debate? I think Disinfonauts would love it.

About Dr. Bones

Dr. Bones is a conjurer, card-reader and egoist-communist who believes “true individuality can only flourish when the means of existence are shared by all.” A Florida native and Hoodoo practitioner, he summons pure vitriol, straight narrative, and sorcerous wisdom into a potent blend of poltergasmic politics and gonzo journalism. He lives with his loving wife, a herd of cats, and a house full of spirits. He can be reached at and
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2 Responses to Legal Weed Will Not Make You Free Or Stop the Murder of Children (Gonzo & Conjure ’16)

  1. Jigme Odsel says:

    > Spirits lie

    This gets repeated so often in the old books. I’m flabbergasted that people will toss away all incredulity just because the person telling them shit just happens to not have a flesh body.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. John Jr says:

    Hello Dr. Bones,

    You made another thought-provoking post as usual, and I am glad that I found your Powered blog/website so now I can follow it using the Reader/by email and I can like and comment et cetera using my account.

    I might not agree with everything you say but some of it does resonate with me and I agree with some of it and you have me thinking about various topics in new ways and have me questioning some of my beliefs, and I keep looking forward to your next post.

    Keep up the good work 👍,

    -John Jr


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